I normally do not share much of my feelings or life here via blog...but, this week is far difficult time for me. This past Tuesday, I sensed that something was wrong with my baby cat, Maiden. He stared into my eyes when he woke me up in the morning..along with a bit labored breathing. I stared back and knew that his time is close. He has lost some weight....you can feel bumps of his spine. I didn't have a good day at work, so my manager let me go home early and take him to vet. Vet said that he had mass growth in his abdomen area and prognosis was not looking good. I broke down and cried ever since. I asked for additional time to say good bye to him, so I took him home. That way, I get to spend our last Christmas together. As long as he is not in great pain, I plan to let him go on day after Christmas as well as he is ready to let me go too. Since this past Tuesday, I spend time with him as much as I can....writing stories about him...what I remember about him....making prepartion for euthansia and cremation arrangement....sharing news with my close friends and family....making checklist to prepare for memorial...Pretty much for pre-loss bereavement.
It is such difficult time epsecially around Holidays...however, he gave me 21 years of unconditional love, emotional support and best companion that I could ever ask for. He will be sorely missed. I am grateful for dear friends, DJ, Sveta, Nat, Libby, Nanette and Jase, being there for me...lending their support, hearing me out and helping me whatever I need to ask of them if I cannot do it on my own.
As I am not in much of Christmas spirit, my annual Holidays Photo Blog and paper cards are on hold for time being.
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